The Basic Assumption
The problem here is obvious. It also demonstrates the main problem that is behind mansplaining in general. The basic assumption here is wrong from top to bottom. For one, this guy was wrong, as most mansplained concepts often are.
To start off, he explained what he was saying wrong and, secondly, he didn’t know he was talking to the person about to give the lecture. In fact, he already assumed the speaker wasn’t even a woman.
And They Just Won’t Stop
There are times it seems like no matter what you say to a man, they’ll still find a way to make sure their point is mansplained to death.
When someone starts explaining something you already know to you, of course, you’re going to try and convey that to them. It’s not like listening to the person they’re talking to is part of mansplaining, though. Nothing was going to stop the men that this woman worked with it seemed.
Sometimes, you can’t help but wonder if there’s anything that some men can’t find a way to mansplain. There are moments when it seems like there’s no self-awareness whatsoever.
When this woman introduced the term mansplaining to one man, he wasn’t about to let the term really sink in. Instead, he decided that the term was just what he was looking for — something new to mansplain. Did he even hear himself say what he was saying?
Did You Hear They’re Catching On?
When you hear about something new, of course, you might want to share it with people who haven’t heard about it. That last part is pretty important.
When this guy found out that this woman worked in the audio, he could have struck up a conversation where he learned something about his interests. Instead, he took the chance and mansplained his way through the conversation, leaving this woman expectedly disappointed.
On a date, there’s a lot that could happen. You could meet the love of your life or you might go home wondering how you could possibly get those few hours of your life back.
This woman was left wondering the latter when they were subjected to a long and mansplained tirade about what a mall is. If he stopped talking and started listening to this woman, he’d probably learn that, like most people, she was familiar with the concept.
Doesn’t Matter if You’re an Expert
As we’ve already seen, men don’t always care about your title or expertise when they’re feeling ready to mansplain something to the women around them.
As a librarian, this woman was quite literally an expert on how to use a card catalog. In fact, she has a degree in the subject! We’re sure that these were facts that this man just flew past to explain this concept to her.
Where Did You Get This Information?
The bad news is that you can find misogyny and chauvinism just about anywhere. That includes when you’re just trying to have fun and play music with your friends.
The idea that women can’t play bass guitar because their hands are too weak is already a completely ignorant thought. Of course, there are plenty of women who play base guitar. Even worse, that’s what this person was doing when these guys decided to put in their wildly incorrect thesis here.
As a good rule, all men should pay equal attention to the women around them as they do to the men. However, there are some positions that you wonder how he got if he acts like this.
It’s an obstetrician’s job to make sure that the women they’re treating are listened to and cared for. This doctor failed on two counts. Apparently, he knew just a little too much about labor to listen to his patient in labor. As a result, he wasn’t around when he was supposed to be.
There are some terms about psychology that are pretty well-known. However, recognizing the name of Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs isn’t the same as being an expert in the subject.
To start, it was quite an assumption that this boyfriend made that he needed to or even could explain a basic concept like this given his girlfriend’s credentials. As if that wasn’t annoying enough, she was forced to listen to an incorrect explanation on top of everything.
Her Own Name?
There are some things that men try to mansplain that you wonder how they possibly think they’re an authority on the subject. It takes a lot of self-control to not just scream when they get started.
This guy really needs to reassess what he thinks is appropriate to correct someone on. After all, once you get basic literacy down, everyone is the authority on how to spell their own name. How would he possibly know her name better than her?
Don’t Bother Asking Next Time
Have you ever been asked a question that someone just doesn’t seem to really care about your answer to? That’s how mansplaining starts sometimes. This guy was about to mansplain this topic to this woman no matter what she said.
Even after she confirmed that, naturally, she knew this basic fact as a professional clothing designer. Still, he pressed on with an explanation that she didn’t want or need.
Some of the situations we’ve seen here are so shocking that you can’t believe they happened. Who would think to have mansplained something like this?
Apparently, there was more than one man who felt so entitled as to think they could explain a woman’s name to her. We’ll repeat this one more time — if someone tells you how to spell or pronounce their name, you have no right to correct them. There’s no possible way that you know better.
Asking the Audience
There are some things that there is no way that someone knows better than you. If you make something up yourself, you’re obviously the expert on the subject.
For instance, if you see a piece of art, the meaning is down to the artist that created it, right? Even if you interpret it in a different way, there’s no contradicting the person who made it. Someone should have filled this guy in on that apparently.
This Is My Whole Job
When you go out to eat, do you call the chef out to let her know that she’s doing her job incorrectly before you even try the food? Honestly, we’re afraid that these people might.
It seems like this person had run into plenty of men who weren’t about to recognize her authority — even if they were there to place bets with her. We’re going to guess that after 14 years, she has the system down better than most of these men.
No One Is Saying That
If you specialize in skin cancer as a profession, there are some things you probably really live by. For example, how important it is to protect your skin with sunscreen every day.
Not to mention, it’s often just more comfortable to sit in the shade. This woman just wanted to enjoy a meal when she heard probably the worst take of all time. We can’t believe we have to say this but sunscreen will definitely protect your skin.
Talking About Talking
There are some things that you pick up as you grow up. For instance, you probably know your home country’s national anthem and, well, the language. After all, you lived there and grew up there.
That already makes you an expert of sorts. You definitely have more hands-on experience than someone with a passing interest. There’s absolutely nothing here that this woman wanted to be mansplained to her.
What would you want to do at the end of a 200-mile kayak paddle? Well, most of us don’t know because it’s a pretty impressive feat that not all of us can do.
We can only imagine that one thing that you wouldn’t want is that accomplishment immediately undermined by some random guy who thinks that you need the concept of what you’re doing mansplained to you. We’re going to guess that he wasn’t there finishing his own athletic feat like this.
I’m Sure You Don’t
It’s interesting to see how men react when they’re called out for whatever they’ve mansplained to someone who wasn’t interested in listening. This guy got more than he bargained for.
When a man is mansplaining, they often don’t listen to the woman they’re mansplaining to. This guy clearly didn’t expect to have someone counter him with proof. Suddenly, it didn’t really matter who was right, did it? Let’s just let it go, right?
You Don’t Say?
Odds are, sadly enough, that if you ask most women, they’ve probably experienced some form of street harassment or worse. Sometimes, men seem absolutely blind to this. This mansplained concept wasn’t just an annoyance, it was rather out-of-touch too.
While the warning is great, it really shows that this guy was blind to it until someone pointed it out to him. It’s definitely been a thing for a while and we’re sure that most women are already aware.
Sorry, Whose Intent?
It’s not uncommon for different people to be called in to consult on rehearsals when a new play is working through the initial learning curves of moving from the page to the stage.
This person was the ultimate expert on the playwright’s intent as the playwright herself. Either this guy didn’t pay attention to who wrote the play or didn’t even bother to ask this woman her name before jumping in to correct her on her own intentions for the scene.
Caught Me, It’s Fake
There are some claims that people spout to everyone who will hear them that just aren’t true. Still, that doesn’t mean that they’ll listen to reason if you try to right them.
This woman had a Ph.D. in medieval women’s writing. So, if anyone was going to have the right answer on this topic, she probably would. This guy seemed to refuse to believe that there was a basis for her degree at all.
Can You Even Imagine?
It’s not easy to be a woman in STEM. This is largely because it’s a male-dominated field and that often leaves you dealing with a lot of misogyny. That’s one thing that this woman definitely had a story or two about.
The man talking to them obviously wasn’t really listening to what he was saying. At the very least, he had no self-reflection as to some of the behavior that makes being a woman in STEM so hard.
Would You Like to Teach?
When you head to a lecture, the idea is to learn from the professor. You can’t do that if you never let her finish her idea or flat-out refuse to believe she knows something you don’t. The fact of the matter here was that this guy was incorrect.
In most cases, that might mean asking the professor to clarify or even explaining where your misunderstanding came from for clarification. If you’re going to challenge her this hard, you had better at least be right.
Gee, Wish I’d Thought of It
There are some parts of your everyday life that you obviously know because, well, it’s your life. That doesn’t stop some men from deciding they know better based on absolutely nothing.
We’re absolutely certain that a woman who is a natural redhead with a lighter skin tone knows to use sunscreen to keep from burning easily. Still, it seems that every man and his brother was there to give her the same advice every time the sun came out.
She’s Got an Idea
If you don’t work with code, it can really look like it’s written in a different language. When you get down to brass tacks, it is. Still, this means that you’re not the only one that speaks that language either.
If a coworker asks for an explanation of something, that’s one thing. This guy clearly just assumed that this person didn’t know because if they’d bothered to ask, they’d have learned it was her code in the first place.
Clearly an Expert
No one is born knowing how to ride a bike — you have to learn at some point. There are a few clear signs that someone already learned to do that, though.
For starters, if they’re riding a bike down the road without a problem, there’s a good chance that this person knows how to ride a bike. Not to mention, what is this man thinking lecturing a woman about how to ride a bike as he calls out of the window of the SUV he’s driving beside her?
Can We Just Play?
It seems like this woman wasn’t having luck with dates where a chessboard was handy. On the other hand, it’s a great litmus test to see if they’re going to give her a fair shot.
The first red flag here is automatically assuming that she doesn’t know the rules of a popular game and not even bothering to ask before launching into a long explanation. Not letting it go when they were starting to lose is even worse.
Opinions on Periods
There seem to be a lot of men who’ve never experienced a period but have somehow decided that they’re experts on it. This has led to some interesting assumptions.
While some are borderline hilarious, this one is often used to invalidate women’s pain. It varies from person to person but some people deal with cramps that are absolutely debilitating. We’d like to see the men who belittle it try to experience this pain just once, not even monthly.
This Can’t be Happening
It seems that men who are determined to mansplain something will jump to any conclusion to get there. This guy couldn’t help but speak out with his oh-so-crucial opinion here.
As a matter of fact, he was willing to point out some of the things from this article that he was sure she just didn’t understand. As it turned out, if he’d checked the source he was critiquing, he’d know that she wrote it.
There are too many people who are more than happy to try to argue with someone about the best treatment for the other person’s disease. Usually, that’s best left to a doctor.
Who needs a medical degree when you have the confidence of a man explaining something that he knows nothing about? Alright, maybe not every man but this guy mansplained himself into a corner here by not really knowing what birth control is.
I’ll Give Her a Call
Someone recommending themselves as an expert on something can either turn out really helpful or it can come off really cocky. This guy wasn’t an expert.
If he was, he would have at least done the basic research to realize whose case he was talking about. All he did was send her a resource about her own case. While reviewing your work is always helpful, it’s clear that this guy wasn’t as much of an “expert” as he wanted people to think.
Did You Live There?
There are some things that you can’t really become an expert on as a third party. Sure, you might know the facts of something and all of the numbers and statistics you can find.
Even if you do all that, someone who lived in the country you’re talking about is going to have first-hand experience that no textbook can compare to. You’re definitely not going to know more than them after reading one magazine article.
Where Are They?
If you had to boil down the concept of mansplaining to a single image, what would you choose? This person had an image they wanted to add to the running. We’re sure that there’s a good way to do a lecture for women in math.
However, you might want to spotlight actual women in math. As for this lecture, you had the very common chance to explain a bunch of women’s obstacles to them. Sounds like great fun, doesn’t it?
You’re Not Right, You’re Right!
When you write an article and post it online, there’s bound to be dissent. Sometimes, it can seem like some people just want to argue for the sake of disagreeing.
If you’re going to dissent from an article, don’t be surprised if you’re called upon to argue your point. Finding an expert that supports your idea is a great way to argue unless you’re incorrectly quoting the expert you’re arguing with.
This Can’t Be Happening
When you have a baby, you have a few options when it comes to feeding them. Some new moms stick to breastfeeding while other parents might decide formula is the better option for their family.
When this family was talking about breastfeeding, it seemed to this person like their husband thought they knew more than not only her but the woman who breastfed him too! This is one subject that these two are probably already familiar with.
Oh My God
Speaking of breastfeeding, it seems like there are some basic misconceptions about it from people who don’t experience it. This guy was way off base. For most people, lactation isn’t a chronic situation.
Your body does it when it warrants it necessary like right after you have a baby. In other words, this woman was completely fine and didn’t need this guy making a comment like this which isn’t only wrong but rather creepy.
This One Is Sticking Around
There are some things that are always, quite literally, a pain to deal with. No one wants to deal with a headache. Luckily, there are some things you can do about it.
This woman had the right idea looking for something she could take for her head. Her boss had another idea. We have no clue where he got this idea from but it’s not how any headache anyone else has ever experienced has gone away.
Excuse Me, What?
We can’t believe we have to highlight this again but it seems like too many men don’t get the fact that mansplaining a woman’s existence to her is really not a great idea.
If this woman had a birthmark on her face that’s, by definition, been there all her life, she knows what it is. How would she not? It seems like at least one man was absolutely sure that he knew her life story better than her.
She Knows What It’s Like
There are a few different things that you can’t really forget after you experience them. For one, childbirth is pretty memorable to anyone who’s given birth.
After giving birth, you probably want a bit of a break to recover. Of course, there was at least one man there to explain what this woman had just been through to her. We’re going to guess he got some things wrong, too.
I Think I’ve Got This One
What’s the first thing that you do when you go to a restaurant? If you’re like most people, you probably sit down and open the menu to take a look.
When this woman opened her menu to scan it, this guy just couldn’t trust her to do it on her own. How could she possibly wrap her mind around it? We’re going to guess the way that most people do and read it. If she’s not asking, it’s safe to guess she’s got this one down.
Room for Edits
An editor is there to help make sure that what you send out into the world isn’t full of typos and grammar mistakes. A fresh set of eyes definitely helps.
Given how much we all read online every day, editors have a pretty in-demand job. This guy didn’t seem to see it that way. Interestingly enough, this guy could have used an editor for the paragraphs she detailed here.
There are some things that you probably should know if you’re going to become an environmental consultant. We’re sure using a pH strip wasn’t the most complicated topic this woman learned.
Still, it seems like this man wasn’t about to recognize that she had even the most basic knowledge from her background. That is if he even bothered to learn a thing about her before assuming that the concept of pH was too complicated for her. As it turned out, it was a little too complicated for him.
You Know What? It’s Over
Breaking up with someone is always hard. On the other hand, there are some things that your soon-to-be ex can do that will make the decision a lot easier.
If we were this woman, we’d probably have made the breakup much less polite too. Not only is it weird to talk about “calculating” a woman’s period but using it as an excuse for her feelings is invalidating and ignorant. We’re happy to hear the breakup went through.
Grounds for Divorce
The thing about mansplaining is that it really disregards what a woman already knows. There’s never a time for it but some men manage to find the worst time possible.
When you’re in the delivery room, your job is to support the person giving birth. The last thing you’re there to do is mansplain to your wife how “little” contractions hurt. That’s easy to say when you never have to give birth!
It’s Very Different
It seems that if there’s one thing that men just can’t stop mansplaining, it’s women’s bodies when they’ve never experienced being in one.
Just about anyone can tell you that childbirth is painful, especially if you don’t have an epidural. This guy thought he could compare it to a more everyday activity that it really has no comparison to. There’s no extensive healing process from the average trip to the bathroom.
45 “Nice Guys” Who Flipped a Switch & Showed Their True Colors
The Hopeless Romantic
Starting off this list is a reaction to rejection that’s tamer than most, but still cringe-worthy enough to induce a severe bout of secondhand embarrassment. The official ‘nice guy’ in this exchange attempts to sway the recipient by ‘love bombing’ them.
Love bombing is defined as an attempt to influence or manipulate a person by extreme displays of affection. In any case, the rejection resulted in an uncomfortable declaration of love, which can be considered better than some of the more abusive reactions we’ll see coming up.
Time to Backpedal
The go-to, signature move of most ‘nice guys’ is the backpedal — which is, once their advances have been swiftly rejected, the ‘nice guy’ will usually attempt to save face by telling the recipient that they’re ‘not that attractive anyway,’ and labeled as a ‘feminazi’ or an array of other foul insults.
Although the nice guy in this exchange is back-pedaling like a Tour-De-France rider, it makes our hearts sing to see this dude getting aptly called out for his inappropriate advances — despite the fact that it’s also frustrating that women still have to deal with this kind of behavior.
Although this exchange is thankfully brief, it’s still an interesting dynamic. What’s amusing is that the rejected ‘nice guy’ resorted to calling the recipient promiscuous, which is a favored insult among the incel community.
However, in declining the advances of someone they don’t know, the woman in this exchange is proving themselves to be the opposite. Whilst it can be tempting to call them out on their behavior, like the post above, sometimes it’s best to just block and ignore.
A Really Awkward Spelling Mistake
This post has some begging, it has some insults, it depersonalizes the recipient by referring to them simply as the collective ‘you females.’ All of these are key factors in an online exchange with a ‘nice guy.’
However, what this message also has is an unfortunate, yet wildly hilarious spelling mistake that clearly shows this guy’s intelligence level. Also, you have to wonder whether he genuinely thought telling the recipient that “he’s vegan now” would overrule all the red flags and result in a date.
He Rejected Himself
This post can best be summed up by Brooklyn Nine-Nine’s Jake Peralta, who once said, “Oooh a self-burn, those are rare.” And while maybe not necessarily a self-burn, the guy in this message exchange didn’t even give himself a chance and… rejected himself?
He’s clearly quick to blame his ex-girlfriend for his behavior, but it seems obvious that the ex-in-question dodged a massive man-shaped bullet as the guy seems unable to accept responsibility for his actions.
A Human-Shaped Red Flag
This guy really sat down one night and thought, “Instead of responding like a calm and rational human being, I can overreact and head for a casual stroll down guilt trip lane.”
For context, the recipient of this over-the-top reaction had changed her online dating profile as she had been speaking with other people on the app, resulting in Mr. Nice Guy throwing a tantrum when he realized he wasn’t the only person she was interacting with. If you ask us, this guy has displayed so many red flags, he’s more flagpole than human.
She’s Just Not That Into You
This guy thought an angel emoji at the end of his rant would solidify his spot as the good guy in this exchange. As the saying goes, it’s not that girls don’t like nice guys — it’s just that you’re probably not as nice as you think you are.
But, this Queen over here put this nice guy in his place and told it like it is, with some solid advice included. Louder for the guys in the back, learn to handle rejection! Not everyone is going to like you, and that is ok!
“Travel Buddies or Something”
We’re not quite sure what universe this nice guy is living in, but apparently, it’s one where space and time operate on different levels than our own universe. This is evident, as even though he pursued the recipient, she ended up being the time-waster for having rejected him.
And while he seems insistent that he only wanted to catch up ‘as friends’ (which makes us extremely skeptical), we have to wonder — is a friend still a friend even if they have an ulterior motive?
That’s What You Get
Behold, the ‘nice guy’ mantra of, “Guess that’s what I get for being a nice guy.” No matter how polite a rejection can be worded, there are men out there that will undoubtedly take the ultimate offense to rejection.
We get that no one likes to feel rejected, it’s not a nice feeling and can result in a heavy hit to one’s self-esteem. However, just as age is no excuse for bad behavior, rejection is not an excuse to throw around insults.
Who’s the Snowflake?
Here we have the boy who cried wolf, or in this case, the boy who cried “it was just a joke!” when he gets called out on his insult. It’s a tale as old as time and accurately depicted in this message exchange.
It’s also quite ironic that the nice guy is calling the recipient a ‘snowflake’ for getting irritated at his messages, however, his overly defensive reaction could be considered snowflake worthy also. And we don’t know about you, but we’d rather be a snowflake than a cringe-worthy ‘nice guy.’
The Songbird of Our Generation
Another key trait of a ‘nice guy’ is their sense of entitlement. Usually, they think they’re entitled to a woman’s time and affection when they feel they’ve provided something of value.
In this case, it seems the nice guy feels entitled to affection because he sent the recipient a song, even though he acknowledged that the woman was married. And although we’re glad the recipient decided to ignore his petulant tantrum, we kind of want to know what song he sent her.
A Stress-Inducing Stress Reliever
This guy tried to blame his inappropriate advances on liquid courage and on his friend, though the recipient saw right through it. And it’s always a mystery as to why a guy will message a girl in the first place, despite the fact that he thinks she’s ‘not that cute anyway.’
The only kind of stress reliever these ‘nice guys’ need is a nice, stable bout of therapy — as well as a rude awakening to how to talk to women properly.
So Many Backhanded Compliments
Although self-proclaimed ‘nice guys’ are lurking everywhere, the gaming and cosplay community seems to be inundated with them. Many women who are gamers tend to keep their identity hidden, for this exact reason, and female cosplayers are often complaining about harassment and inappropriate advances.
As gaming seems to often be considered a man’s pastime, women in the community tend to be put on pedestals, harassed, and objectified by nice guys who feel they deserve attention at the drop of a compliment.
Not Your Gorgeous Sunflower
It’s an unspoken rule, that only close friends or family can give you a nickname. If your parents call you their gorgeous sunflower? It’s sweet. If a random guy on the internet calls you his gorgeous sunflower, totally ignoring the fact that you’re in a relationship?
It’s creepy, and it definitely oversteps the person’s boundaries. Though the recipient was polite in her rejection and even offered to continue the conversation, the nice guy was clearly offended by the dismissal of his advances.
So Cheesy, It’s a Fondue
You never know — cheesy pickup lines may work for some people. However, for guys who want a fighting chance, it’s probably best to stay away from the cheese and cliches and shoot the shot with something original.
Or better yet, don’t try and shoot the shot at all when the girl in question clearly has a boyfriend. And even better still, accept the rejection calmly with humility and respect instead of flipping and calling the girl a psycho. Just some pointers.
There Are No Words
This conversation started average enough — a classic nice guy scenario of getting offended at a rejection, desperately asking for just a chance, even though the recipient of his advances was polite and chatty the whole way through.
What is definitely 100% not ok is this nice guy’s parting comment. In no universe is it ok to say something like that to someone who’s grieving. And we sincerely hope that after his little outburst, the recipient ignored, reported, and blocked this user for his out-of-line reaction.
The IQ Snob
Firstly, after a little bit of research it looks like if the woman was talking to someone with an IQ of six, she would be talking to a rock.
Secondly, looking at the nice guy’s spamming messages and subsequent flip, we sincerely doubt his statement, “I would treat you right.” It’s just a hunch, but we think he would probably treat this girl very, very wrong. With this in mind, the recipient should consider herself lucky that she “lost her chance.”
Don’t Call Me Baby
For some context, this pair had met on a dating app, and this was their first exchange via text after she had provided him with her phone number. There’s nothing that produces the ‘ick’ quicker than a guy not respecting boundaries.
So, just a tip — if someone says, “I’m sorry, I don’t appreciate that/being called that,” the right response is to apologize and make sure it doesn’t happen again. For an example of the wrong response, simply check out how this nice guy flipped.
Definition of a Quick Flip
This nice guy’s first message wasn’t that bad. At a first glance, it was kind and respectful. The only problem was that he messaged her unprompted after finding her social media information on a dating app, which is… creepy.
The second message, however, speaks for itself. It’s a major sign of insecurity and self-esteem issues to completely flip and turn nasty, and in this case, it was to a simple lack of response — not even to a written rejection!
Leave the Cat Out of It!
Asking for a friend (named Brian) — who else feels completely vulnerable telling someone their name? Anyone? We’re pleased that this recipient decided not to even acknowledge this so-called nice guy’s poor behavior with a response.
As behavior experts say, by acknowledging someone’s bad behavior toward you, you let them know that they got to you and then they win. And it’s clear (particularly by the last message — leave the cat alone!), well, that this guy is the opposite of a winner.
A Fedora With Hands Wrote This
Feast your eyes on this monstrosity of a message. We’re not quite sure whether to burst out laughing or to run screaming in terror. The message chain had gone on for quite a while before the ‘nice guy’ decided to end the exchange with this.
The role-playing elements definitely give all the secondhand embarrassment vibes, and we have to wonder if he let off some steam after this by drinking a bottle of Mountain Dew and practicing his sword work.
Take a Chance on Me
In a ‘nice guys’’ imagination, they believe that they’re entitled to a woman’s time and affection for being nice, or alternatively, they resent the woman for ‘friend zoning’ them and not allowing them the chance to offer their romantic services.
However, it can be assumed that the constant, desperate pleas for a woman to give them a chance — followed by the furious, curse-laden statements about the woman refusing to give them a chance is possibly one of the world’s biggest turn-offs.
Will Happily Accept This Loss
Why do nice guys so often tell the woman who rejected them, “your loss”? Can someone please explain what it is the woman has lost — apart from losing a lifetime full of guilt trips, constant emotional manipulation, likely the need to mother grown men, a need to constantly deal with adult tantrums?
Or perhaps they’re losing out on the possible verbal and emotional abuse, or time and effort wasted on a man more in love with the idea of a relationship than with the actual woman. Other than that, we can’t think of anything else lost.
People in Relationships Need Not Reply
Not seen in this post are the following messages from the nice guy accusing the woman of leading him on and engaging in promiscuous behavior, and stating that he’s looking out for his fellow ‘bros’ because she dared to text him back when she already had a boyfriend.
It appears to be jealousy and embarrassment manifesting itself in a so-called attempt to uphold ‘bro code.’ Though if he was so worried about bro code, we have to wonder why he messaged in the first place, after suspecting the woman was still in a relationship.
Is This Respect?
Oh, look. Another guy who thinks he’s entitled to a date because he did the bare minimum in terms of having a conversation, including not sending a nude photograph. If relationships all started just because people were ‘respectful,’ said hello, and paid someone a compliment, there would be no single people left on planet Earth.
Except for maybe this ‘nice guy,’ who seems to be a bit confused about the definition of respect. Hint, it doesn’t involve the vulgar language he used in response.
Hey, Big Spender
Oh, look — a high roller who thinks that because he won money at a casino, he’s entitled to intimacy. Someone should probably let him know that this isn’t really how the world works.
However, if that’s what he’s looking for in terms of female interaction, there are establishments that will take that money and help him out. And honestly, if it was a choice of paying the rent and giving this nice guy the time of day, we’d rather move house.
Reading This Was an Effort
This entire message seems to be riddled with backhanded compliments, though we would take the thing as one big insult. Maybe this nice guy should go on and write a self-help book, for all the opinions and advice he seems to have on this woman’s mental health.
After reading through his lengthy message, it seems as though he would be the one to benefit from reading some self-help books. Despite claiming to be ‘unaffected and making six figures,” he can’t help but appear extremely affected.
A Lose-Lose Situation
Nothing screams ‘desperation and entitlement’ like trying to force someone into simply talking to you for a bit. And nothing then screams ‘nice guy’ like rudely and insultingly calling someone a liar for not immediately rejecting their advances. It’s a lose-lose situation here.
If the woman had rejected him right off the bat, as he seems to have preferred, it is guaranteed that he would have messaged something about “not even giving him a chance.” And when she gives him a chance but then isn’t interested, he cries that “she lied and was leading him on.” What’s a girl to do?
An Expert on Self-Reflection
A concept that seems almost alien to a lot of nice guys who can’t handle rejection — women are allowed to change their minds. A change in mind may have nothing to do with the man in question, or it may have everything to do with the man in question.
But either way, a woman who initiates a conversation is not then obligated to see the exchange through to the end, particularly if she realizes that the pair of them are not on the same page.
A Strange Concept of Nice
We have to wonder if nice guys operate in the same language as everyone else. Because in the instance of this message exchange, it seems this guy has a completely different concept of what ‘being nice’ actually involves.
Nice means being pleasant, agreeable, or satisfactory. Rude is defined as being offensively impolite or ill-mannered. Comparing these two definitions, it doesn’t take a degree in languages or communication to realize that this nice guy is, in fact, not so nice.
Nothing’s Better Than Guacamole
In this woman’s defense, there are very few things in the world that are better than guacamole. Guac has set the bar and it’s the level that every man, woman, and child should strive to meet.
This nice guy is clearly deluded if he thinks he comes close to guacamole, and this woman was well within her right to turn him down. Looking at his reaction, we think even soggy tortilla chips would be better than this ‘nice guy.’
“I Was Only Joking!”
Where do we start with this one? Firstly, this nice guy seems to think that despite not knowing the woman all that well, he should come before family. Secondly, after he was called out for his poor attitude, he tried to play it off as a joke — which is seriously offputting.
Finally, he tried to initiate the final rejection before the recipient could get their first, obviously thinking that if he’s the one to do the ‘breaking up’ then he could likely claim that she was ‘crazy’ and he had to ditch her. Typical, right?
This Guy Did a Full 360
This post is short, but not so sweet. And slightly confusing. It starts polite, then quickly and succinctly evolves into the ‘nice guy,’ sending a brief insult.
We have to wonder when looking at the nice guy’s final reaction — which is him saying “you’re welcome”— does he genuinely think that he has done the woman a favor by insulting her? Does he think that he was a good person by masterfully pointing out a character flaw of hers so that she may now work on herself?
This Is Seriously Messed Up
Another message exchange that has us lost for words. Although it’s hard to determine whether the nice guy in this situation is a narcissist, he’s definitely displaying some narcissistic tendencies.
Lack of empathy, a sense of entitlement, lack of boundaries, exaggerated need for attention, and perceiving everything as a threat — even this woman’s deceased partner — are some sure signs that even if not clinically narcissistic, this ‘nice guy’ is at the very least extremely self-centered.
Beta vs. Alpha
It turns out, it’s not always women who have to put up with harassment from ‘nice guys.’ More often than you would expect, these nice guys will message the boyfriend of their current infatuation, although we’re not quite sure what they think will happen.
In their imagination, they probably expect the girl’s boyfriend to quietly and respectfully break up with her so the nice guy can come swooping in from the sidelines. It may work for terrible romance novels but not so much for real life.
See Ya Never
This woman summed it up best when she said “you can’t accept that I don’t want you, then insult me because your feelings get hurt.” Is it too much to ask for, to be able to live in a world where talking to men doesn’t immediately mean they assume you want to hook up?
At the very least a world where men who are rejected don’t always respond with anger, insults, or a manipulative guilt trip. There’s still hope for such a world — we just have to work towards it.
Leave the Windbreaker Alone
Another short and not so sweet message chain, this is another nice guy who flipped over no response at all. Interestingly, judging from the date stamps, it looks like this guy had been stewing over this girl and her lack of response for almost two weeks — which you would expect to be enough time to simply accept the rejection and move on.
Alas, this nice guy resorted to insulting the woman’s outfit, and I don’t know about you, but we kind of want to see what the windbreaker looks like.
Just Some Cat Blackmail
For some context on this message exchange, the recipient was trying to raise money for a life-saving operation for her cat. The ‘nice guy’ in question was trying to use her sick cat to blackmail the woman for nude photographs.
If that wasn’t bad enough, he tries to use her cat to guilt-trip her further, then goes on the common nice guy rant about “typical females ignoring him and not bothering to respond,” with some typical insults thrown in for good measure.
Stalker Doesn’t Notice Relationship Status
Analyzing these messages, it appears that this nice guy doesn’t know this woman at all and has simply been stalker her online via her Twitter account. Leave it to a so-called ‘nice guy’ to get jealous and offended when the object of his affections — who’s likely unaware that he even exists — appears to be in a relationship with someone else.
The guy also assumes that her partner is a ‘chad,’ which is a ‘nice guy’ and incel term for an attractive ‘alpha male’ type, who they believe get all the women.
There’s a Thing as Too Assertive
It’s true, confidence is attractive. However, there’s a difference between confidence, assertiveness, and being overly demanding. Real life isn’t 50 Shades of Grey, and aggressively telling a woman “we’re going to be a thing” doesn’t mean it’s going to happen.
In fact, this strategy is probably a one-way ticket to rejection city — as is his response, which is self-deprecating and defies his initial confidence, showing instead how insecure and lonely he probably is.
Growing an audience and a loyal following is, in part, all about connecting with people on a human level. As the woman in this message exchange tries to explain, being rude and demanding isn’t the way to get shout-outs and expand on your network.
Looking at his responses, we have to wonder whether he was simply trying to grow his audience, or whether he had underlying intentions. This is a common tactic used by nice guys, which involves reaching out to a woman under the pretense of being friends, with full intentions of trying to initiate a romantic relationship instead.
This whole situation is just… odd. This nice guy has publicly sent this woman expensive lingerie, which is a gift usually reserved for people who share some kind of intimacy.
It’s not, as the subject of this post points out, for women that you’ve barely had any interactions with in the past two years. Hopefully, this nice guy can get a refund on this expensive lingerie, and the recipient has a strong enough case for a restraining order.
The Rejected Poet
This nice guy clearly has an overinflated sense of abilities and self-worth, as well as feeling like his skills make him entitled to a romantic relationship.
However, what’s even better than his public rant is his complete obliviousness when someone tries to call him out for what he is. Instead of reading the “nice guy” comment and taking the hint to reflect on his behavior, he doubles down and heads dangerously into ‘incel’ territory.
Cringeworthy Is an Understatement
This message is heavy on insults, heavy on self-pity, and also displays some incredibly dangerous ideologies. Some incels who believe that women are responsible for their involuntary celibacy and deserve to be punished have gone as far as committing violent hate crimes against women.
And in this ‘nice guys’ rant, he suggests that “he can see why some guys go to such extremes” and tells the recipient that “she deserves to scream and cry in pain.” Such as horrible and dangerous belief system has no place in modern society.
It’s Now or Never
The crazy thing about this message thread is that the woman on the receiving end was polite, and didn’t necessarily reject this guy’s advances completely. However, it appears that unless this nice guy’s advances are immediately and happily accepted, he considers it a rejection worthy of an angry and vulgar response.
It looks like the woman both “missed her chance” and dodged a bullet. It also sounds like this particular ‘nice guy’ should learn the saying, “Good things come to those who wait.”
There are some things that women and anyone who has ever presented femininely are familiar with. A lot of those things have to do with dealing with men who just won’t seem to put in the effort to take the misogyny out of their interactions. These are just some of the examples women shared online of running into “mansplaining” in their interactions in just about every corner of life.