“Technoference,” or interference caused by technology, is a common problem in modern society these days. It is especially concerning when it becomes a dividing factor in relationships. But it doesn’t have to be so! According to experts, there are ways to turn this obstacle into an advantage in your love life. Here is how you can do this.
Establishing Tech Boundaries
Technoference is increasingly becoming one of the key barriers in habitual face-to-face interactions. So, it’s better not to take your phone to the family dinner table or to bed with your partner. Even if you do, try not to choose your phone over the people you’re with at that moment. Even a momentary experience can feel like rejection and can leave a lasting impact on the other party.
Reading between the Lines
According to psychiatrist Mimi Winsberg, MD, texting has become the modern ‘lingua franca of love,’ being the primary form of communication with friends, family members, and romantic partners. That’s why a couple generally spends most of the day in electronic communication with their spouses, like a grocery list text, a reminder about picking up the kids, etc. Love languages are also getting entangled in these text threads, which can be hard to decipher even for the most tech-savvy person. So, use technology wisely and try to open up about your feelings and emotional needs within the text lines.
Taking Advantage of Evening Screen Time
Spending quality time with your partner before bed offers a beneficial bonding boost. The good news is that tech time together totally counts too. Watch a movie, play a video game, or listen to a podcast together. You can even pick a long-running TV series and binge a couple of episodes together every evening. Any pro-bonding activity will do as long as you’re both in it.
Doing a Self-Diagnosis
As Dr. Winsberg says, our texting history can provide an electronic health record of our relationships. Scrolling through your past text messages can open your eyes to the evolution of your relationship with your partner, for better or for worse. Technology can be utilitarian in this way over the course of a relationship if you’re willing for a self-diagnosis. That means, swapping the occasionally rare heart emojis with little compliments, or sprinkling expressions of love in your texts more regularly than before. These baby steps of affectionate exchanges can maintain or mend a relationship most effectively.
Focusing on Sustained Efforts
It’s important to become aware of the impacts of technology on our closest relationships. But revamping our tech habits one fine morning can be daunting, even when it’s required. Relationship researcher Dr. Shanhong Luo advises couples to focus instead on small but regular acts of romantic upkeep. According to her, regular maintenance is the key to sustained satisfaction, and a process of gradual synthesis is likely more effective here than a great leap. So, instead of expecting a regular spur of e-love from your other half, make it a habit to exchange small daily tokens like good morning and good night texts.