35+ Hilarious Tweets About What It’s Really Like Being a Woman Today

35+ Hilarious Tweets About What It’s Really Like Being a Woman Today

There are certain things every woman understands that men will simply never relate to. Sometimes, being a woman is the best — other times, it’s the absolute worst. And then, there are times that you’re expected not to know how you feel unless a man explains it to you. Here are some of the most relatable tweets about the beautiful journey that is womanhood.

Going Crazy

Every woman has been called “crazy” at least once. When a man has an outburst of emotion, he’s “passionate” but when a woman does it, she’s “crazy.” Then, there are those guys who claim that they always end up dating women who are insane.

Going Crazy

Well, if every single one of the women you dated turned out to be nuts, what’s the common denominator here? You. Chances, are they weren’t “crazy” when you met them, but after a few dates with you, they might be crazy now.

Feeling Smooth

Few things can compare to that fresh feeling of having smooth skin after previously resembling a small forest. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with letting your hair grow out but, for those women who aren’t used to having au natural legs, there’s something very satisfying about getting a long-overdue shave in.

Feeling Smooth

Want to upgrade that silky feeling even more? Put some fresh sheets on your bed for after your shave and shower. You can thank us later.

“Maybe It’s Just Hormones?”

One of the most frustrating things about womanhood is people think that they can blame everything on your monthly visitor. Whether it’s a physical or emotional issue, there’s always someone who chalks it up to hormones.

“Maybe It’s Just Hormones?”

Upset over something your significant other did? “You probably just need some chocolate.” Feeling sick enough to go to the hospital? “Nah, it’s just cramps.” Tired of not having your perfectly legitimate concerns taken seriously? “Pffft, women are so emotional!”

It’s a Catch-22

There are so many tricks that we try to play on ourselves for the sake of being better, healthier adults. One of those tricks is the dieting hack of simply not buying unhealthy foods, so they won’t be in the house when you crave them.

It’s a Catch-22

Whoever thought this hack would stop us from fulfilling a craving, sorely underestimated our love for chips! If you see us wandering around the gas station at 2:00 am in pajamas, buying snacks, you know what happened…

We Want to Have Both

Unfortunately, society tends to teach girls that everything has to be about their looks. Meanwhile, boys are taught that their appearance should come secondary to other endeavors. What about the little boys who want to experiment with makeup? Or the young girls who want to be scientists?

We Want to Have Both

What would happen if there were no “girls” and “boys” magazines and all magazines had both types of content? We’d probably all be super successful, on our way to running the world — and we’d look good while doing it!

Perfection Takes Time

When it comes to women and glamming up, it’s a bit of a “damned if you do, damned if you don’t” situation. You can get ridiculed for spending time, money, and energy on your appearance. Or, you can get asked why you don’t look as put-together or as glamorous as other women.

Perfection Takes Time

Basically, you can’t really win. Whether you decide to go with a bare face, a full face of makeup, or the “no-makeup” makeup look, just make sure that you’re doing it for yourself and no one else.

An Abundance of Unearned Confidence

If we had the unearned confidence of a white, straight cis man, we’d have taken over the world by now! The audacity of this guy is so impressive, we almost forgot to be offended!

An Abundance of Unearned Confidence

What would the world be like if little girls were taught to just boldly ask for whatever they wanted as if the world owed it to them? We can’t even blame this guy, we’re too busy being envious. After all, he can’t say he didn’t try…

Whose Fault Is That?

If wearing makeup is a lie about how attractive a woman is, then men growing out their beards is deceitful too. It’s incredible how much guys can change their level of hotness by altering their facial hair. So, what’s wrong with women altering a few things through makeup?

Whose Fault Is That?

When guys tell us that they can’t tell what a woman really looks like without her makeup, all we hear is that he’s never had a woman sleep over before. We can see why that would be the case…

Conceited, Much?

Let’s be honest — we all have egos about certain things, regardless of gender. There are women who like to take a lot of selfies, post them on social media, and bathe in the glow of all the “likes.” What’s wrong with that?

Conceited, Much?

Meanwhile, there are men who name every single one of their offspring after themselves. There’s nothing wrong with that either, but let’s not mistake it for modesty. How about we all just live and let live, rather than judge each other for whatever gives us a confidence boost?

The Truth About True Crime

A lot of research has been done to try and understand why women are so compelled by this genre. One explanation is that it serves as an outlet for emotions like fear and rage.

The Truth About True Crime

Another theory is that women tend to be empathetic, making criminals’ backstories more interesting to them. Either way, we fully admit that our love of true crime shows has made us question our life choices… on more than one occasion.

Some Things Never Change

Sometimes, being a woman can feel like fighting the same battle over and over again. While society has made a lot of progress with women’s rights, there are some issues our grandmothers had to fight that we’re still dealing with.

Some Things Never Change

In fact, recent events make it seem like we’re going backward, as a lot of what the generations before us have worked for is being undone! *Sigh* We’ll see you in another 20 years… to address the exact same issues… all over again.

Cleaning Out the Closet

We’ve all seen the articles about the thing we should, or shouldn’t, wear. The makeup tips that are meant to change our lives. Or what amount of skin is deemed just the right amount to show. It’s truly exhausting!

Cleaning Out the Closet

The reality is that the most beautiful people (regardless of gender) are the ones who do their own thing and don’t worry about how society says they should look. Want to lose 20 pounds quickly? Drop everyone else’s baggage that you’ve been carrying around!

No Means No

For all the men who felt violated by U2 forcing their music into your phones, we have some questions for you. For one, did you explicitly tell U2 that you don’t want their music?

No Means No

Are you sure they heard you? You have other music on your phone, so how were U2 supposed to know that you didn’t want their music, too? Are you sure you didn’t just download their music and then regret it? After all, you did go out and buy that fancy iPhone, so we can see how they’d be tempted…

A for Effort

Well, we have to give it up to NASA — at least they tried! We appreciate their care and concern for their first female astronaut. We can only imagine Sally Ride struggling to hold back her laughter when they posed this question.

A for Effort

Now that NASA has mastered outer space, we recommend that they take a quick biology lesson. These are some of America’s sharpest minds, after all! If they can learn how to put a man on the moon, they can try to comprehend how a woman’s monthly cycle works.

Thanks, But No Thanks

Why do men send women unsolicited pictures of their bodies? Has that ever in the history of photos ever worked??? What do they think will happen? They’ll send a picture of their package and the woman will respond, “Oooh, where are you? I want to come touch it!”

Thanks, But No Thanks

Yeah, something tells us that’s never going to happen. Just like with the “gifts” our cats bring us, those unwanted photos will get thrown out, and then we’ll call our friends to have a laugh at your expense.

An Extra Workout

There are three parts to any workout. No, we’re not talking about the warm-up, workout, and cool-down — we’re talking about the three parts of dealing with workout clothes. There’s getting the sports bra on, adjusting it all throughout the workout itself, and then wrestling the sweaty sports bra off of your body when you’re finished exercising.

An Extra Workout

It’s basically a workout within a workout! Whoever says women don’t have upper body strength has clearly never seen one untangle a sweat-soaked bra.

An Unsolvable Puzzle

The Spice Girls literally said, “I’ll tell you what I want, what I really, really want.” Unfortunately, the Backstreet Boys stepped in with “I want it that way.” Aaaaaand, that’s pretty much how these conversations go. Women really aren’t that complicated — they pretty much just want gender equality.

An Unsolvable Puzzle

Hollywood will give women a female superhero (which is great) but still refuse to cast any actress over the age of 40, and then wonder why women are still upset. Just let us know when you’re ready to listen…

It’s a One Woman Job

Isn’t it interesting how society acts like getting pregnant is a one-person act? Women are expected to assume all the responsibility, and single-handedly deal with all the consequences of the actions of two people.

It’s a One Woman Job

Women are in charge of pregnancy prevention, they get all the stigma in the case of an accidental pregnancy, and they’re the ones who have to take care of the baby. Maybe women should try to figure out how to get pregnant without men, after all?

Hot and Cold

The female body is a beautiful and glorious thing! That being said, it sometimes just does its own thing with zero regards for what else is going on. Your monthly visitor can arrive extremely early — or late.

Hot and Cold

You can have a flat stomach one minute but feel extremely bloated the next. Maybe you crave random foods for no apparent reason. You can even get stretch marks appearing in inexplicable places. Ah, the mysteries of the human body!

Drama-Free Zone

Yeah… any history buff could tell you — pretty much all the drama was started by men. Women may start drama on reality shows or whatever (which are largely scripted anyway) but when men start drama, it puts people’s lives at stake!

Drama-Free Zone

Sure, hanging out with one of the Real Housewives may result in someone chucking a drink but that’s a lot better than throwing a punch, isn’t it? We know which form of drama we’d prefer!

A Six-Pack of Rolls

Nothing can ruin your confidence like seeing your stomach when you sit down. No matter how fit you are, everyone always has some rolls, it’s just the way stomachs are built.

A Six-Pack of Rolls

Still, though, knowing that doesn’t always help when you’re standing in your crop top and feeling confident. Then, you bend down to put on your shoes and immediately decide that you need to change your shirt. *Sigh* Maybe crop tops are meant to be strictly for standing events.

Up for the Challenge

We’re not really sure what fashion designer decided that baby clothes would make a great clubbing outfit but we’d like to have a word with them! Anyone who’s made the mistake of wearing a romper on a night of drinking knows that feeling of regret in an outfit choice.

Up for the Challenge

Clumsily fighting a romper off your body — in a public bathroom — will be enough to make you never want to wear one of those again!

She’s Not Wrong

One of the (many) incredibly powerful things some women can do is to create another human being. It must be a pretty cool feeling when you’re in a room and realize that you’ve personally made a happy home for everyone present.

She’s Not Wrong

And no, when we say “happy home,” we’re not referring to the living room of your house. We have no doubt that the OP was feeling absolutely god-like — as she very well should!

The Truth About Swimsuit Shopping

Society is so strict with what women’s bodies should look like that no matter how gorgeous someone is, it’s pretty hard not to break down crying when trying on a bathing suit.

The Truth About Swimsuit Shopping

We all kind of agreed that the “dad bod” can be hot, so why don’t we embrace the “mom bod” as well? The next time you’re trying on a swimsuit, just remember — a bikini body is a body with a bikini on it!

A Perfect Example

Ah, womanhood, it’s all about being criticized for being anything short of perfect while men get applauded for doing the bare minimum. A mother braids her daughter’s hair every day and no one notices.

A Perfect Example

A father braids his daughter’s hair once and goes viral on Instagram. Men go to work after an injury and everyone’s impressed. Women go to work in their third trimester of pregnancy and no one bats an eye. So yeah, this newspaper clipping pretty much sums it up.

We’ve Been Tricked

Dear clothing companies — women want pockets, too! Even babies’ clothes have pockets and they don’t have anything to carry! It’s already annoying that women’s clothes often don’t have pockets but then there are those fashion companies that try to deceive customers.

We’ve Been Tricked

Making someone think they have a pocket, just to find out that it’s fake is a pretty cruel way to trick someone. Furthermore, what’s the point? Why not just add the pocket?!

The Answer Is Obvious

The whole concept of various religions kind of makes sense now! Ever had an idea stolen from you by a male coworker? Ever had someone mansplain your own words to you? Now, you know how god must have felt!

The Answer Is Obvious

God is a woman, she said what she wanted to say, and then everyone interpreted her words in their own way — and that’s how we have multiple versions and religions. After all, Ariana Grande says, “When all is said and done, you’ll believe God is a woman.” She was right.

That’s a Wise Decision

Sometimes, you can see that someone’s going through something and it’s probably best not to push their buttons. This was definitely one of those instances.

That’s a Wise Decision

We’d also let her cut us in line — partly out of fear for our lives and partly because she was clearly in need of some ice cream… and STAT! After all, we’ve all been there at some point or another, so it’s important to be sympathetic when someone else is having a moment.

No Need for Either One

There are some women who like to wear bras, either for aesthetic reasons or for the comfort of keeping everything in a certain place. While there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that, it’s a shame how society wants every woman to believe that a bra is crucial in her life — even if she doesn’t want to wear one.

No Need for Either One

Similarly, some women want to have a man, and others would just rather be on their own. Both are perfectly acceptable options, regardless of what rom-coms may tell you.

The Top-Tier of Society

There are certain things that we’re just inclined to lose, no matter what — bobby pins, scrunchies, patience for annoying creeps, and lip balm tubes. It seems that no matter what we do, we just can’t hold on to those things for very long.

The Top-Tier of Society

To those incredible souls who actually manage to finish a tube of lip balm, we applaud you. Those are clearly the most responsible members of society and they should be the leaders of everything.

Technically, Still a Husband

Dating can often feel like a walk in the park. That is, of course, if the park is on fire, your shoes are filled with rocks, and someone’s inexplicably showing you their junk.

Technically, Still a Husband

Maybe that’s why love feels so great when we find it? We know that we’ve really earned it, so we appreciate it more. When on a bad date, just remember that there are plenty of other fish in the sea. Hopefully, fish that aren’t already in someone else’s net…

The Student Becomes the Master

Can we all agree, as a society, to stop teaching young boys that “real” men are independent, know everything, and don’t need anyone? Really, what’s with guys and asking for directions?! Do they think their manhood will fall off if they admit they don’t know where they are?

The Student Becomes the Master

While there are some men who will gladly learn a new skill from a woman, there are definitely those dudes who will mansplain the woman’s lesson back to her. For the sake of keeping their manhood attached, of course.

The Right of Way

Women are often taught from a young age not to take up too much space in the world. For some reason, society has decided that being small, or dainty, equates to womanhood.

The Right of Way

Therefore, women often shrink to the side when someone’s manspreading on public transportation. Or a girl will move out of the way if they see someone walking confidently in her direct path. Let’s normalize women taking up a typical human-sized amount of space. Make way for the matriarchy!

Pulling it Off

If a piece of clothing fits on a person’s body then, clearly, they’re “pulling it off.” It doesn’t need to fit perfectly, it doesn’t need to meet conventional beauty standards — it needs to be on the person’s body and they need to feel good in it.

Pulling it Off

That’s it. They’re pulling it off. Want to know what’s really hard to “pull off,” Karen? An unpleasant personality. So, maybe try stop wearing that for a while.

Nothing Is One-On-One

Dear men — nothing, and we mean nothing, is ever one-on-one between you and your girlfriend. Her best friends know everything… the good, the bad, and the freaky. We promise you that, although they’ve never seen it, her friends could pick your privates out of a lineup.

Nothing Is One-On-One

Don’t worry, they’ll help you out and remind her of all the good things you’ve done when she’s in a mood. However, if you mess up, they’ll know and may have all the ammo they need to take you down.

A Job Well Done

We all need some validation from time to time and loading the dishwasher properly can be tough! Part of being in a healthy relationship is making sure that your significant other feels complimented for a job well done.

A Job Well Done

This is especially true for straight women, as society can often make men feel like they should be naturally incompetent with household chores. With every compliment on a chore done correctly, women are slowly chipping away at the patriarchy.

A Solid Plan

This woman has got life figured out and we should all take a page out of her book! Seriously, it seems that she’s cracked the code to dating.

A Solid Plan

This is the perfect way to filter out potential dates to make sure they have the three things that are most important to you. Think about it — if you go for the pizza delivery guy and it still doesn’t work out, at least you got pizza!

Both Are True

The realities of married life can often be extremely confusing. We’ll absolutely love our partners to pieces one minute — while the next, you wonder why they even exist.

Both Are True

That’s why they say, marriage is finding that one special person who you just know you want to annoy for the rest of their life. Marriage is definitely a journey, and it’s not easy, but it is worth it… when they’re not snoring, that is.

Shared Interests

Why can’t the world just accept that women can know about and enjoy things that may not be stereotypically feminine? Remember when Natalie Portman posted a photo of herself in a Star Wars shirt on Instagram?

Shared Interests

Some guy, who clearly didn’t know who she was, commented that he doubts she’s even seen the movies. She was in the movies! *Sigh* This is the type of doubt and judgment that women have to deal with every day.

Shhhh, Don’t Tell Anyone

Is anyone else really sick of being told what does or doesn’t constitute a “real woman?” What is it even supposed to mean?! If we don’t act or look like a “real woman” is supposed to, then we’re just imaginary?

Shhhh, Don’t Tell Anyone

Furthermore, since when do random Chads get to dictate what a woman is or isn’t? Call us crazy, but we prefer to have our womanhood determined by someone who can at least find it during intimacy.

That’s Just in One Hour!

Sometimes, it can be really hard to understand just what you need at that moment. Our physical and mental needs aren’t necessarily aligned and we’re not always sure which one to go with.

That’s Just in One Hour!

For example, we may be emotionally in need of food but without being physically hungry. See the dilemma? While inconvenient at times, it can also be kind of fun! It’s like playing a guessing game of what will come next!

It All Makes Sense Now

Adulting is hard! Adulting, as a woman, is even harder. It’s like playing a video game in difficult mode when you skipped the beginner’s level. Sometimes, you just need a moment to unwind — without any noise, without anyone needing anything from you, without worrying about your to-do list — even just a few minutes can make a big difference.

It All Makes Sense Now

Some people achieve this by meditating, some have hobbies that their family knows not to interrupt, and some just lie in the dark in silence. Fair enough.

Every Kevin James Movie Ever

Anyone who’s seen literally any sitcom in the ‘90s is familiar with the schlubby guy with a gorgeous wife trope. While there’s absolutely nothing wrong with people dating someone out of their league, the fact that it works every time in movies and it’s always the woman who settled, well, it kind of sends the wrong message to young viewers.

Every Kevin James Movie Ever

We want to see a movie where the schlubby woman gets the hot guy! Haha, who are we kidding? Schlubby women aren’t allowed to play leading roles!

An Important Job to Do

This woman is asking the important questions in life! We get it — sometimes, it’s nice to go out. Other times, though, you’re just really in the mood for a night of annoying your cat.

An Important Job to Do

Not every day can be the most productive and it’s important to take that time to unwind and just be lazy. We’re not sure how the cat feels about it, though… Maybe the kitty is secretly hoping that its mom will go out so that he can yawn in peace.

Why Doesn’t It Fit?!?!?!

How is this even possible?! Do women magically gain or lose weight between trying on pairs of jeans?! Seriously, the fact that clothing sizes are not regulated is a real issue.

Why Doesn’t It Fit?!?!?!

A lot of women attach their self-esteem to their dress size, despite the fact that you can easily be a size two in one store and a size eight in another. So, don’t worry if you don’t fit into the “right” size jeans — it’s all made up anyway!

30+ People Who Had Quite the Adventure in Their Sleep

When you lay down to sleep, you probably expect to wake in the same spot in the morning. If you tend to sleepwalk, though, you know this isn’t always the case. Sleepwalking usually causes people to do some seemingly wild things that they don’t even remember. These are some of the adventures people have gone on in their sleep.

Sleep Eating

Ambien is often prescribed for those struggling with insomnia. Yet, it’s known for causing some nighttime adventures as a side effect. This person was taking it and started sleep eating.

Sleep Eating

If you’ve ever eaten in your sleep before, though, you know that it isn’t always the most logical meal. In this case, their partner at the time found them with some odd choices. This included a stick of butter and actual handfuls of jam.

Maybe Not a Knife

Walking and talking in your sleep combined can have some interesting results. This is partly because not everyone makes the most sense in their sleep.

Maybe Not a Knife

In this case, we’d probably have been nervous if this was our brother. After all, who would need a knife just because they can’t sleep? It’s probably just another instance of someone who said something weird because they were asleep. We really hope that this person didn’t actually give their sleeping brother his request!

Time to Move

When you first wake up from a deep sleep, something mildly startling can be even scarier. That’s why someone sleeptalking can be particularly frightening to their half-asleep bedmates.

Time to Move

We have to admire this person for not being too phased when their girlfriend delivered this message in her sleep. The first question as to whether they saw the “man in purple” is unsettling enough. We’d have run when she said “We won’t make it to see the sunrise.”

Not the Ravioli!

The problem with sleepwalking is that you never know when it’s going to happen. So, you could find yourself in an awkward situation with anyone you fall asleep near.

Not the Ravioli!

Take this story, for example. It’s funny enough that they had such strong feelings about ravioli but the setting really made the story. No one wants to start screaming and swearing in front of their grandparents. Being completely nude at the time wouldn’t help defuse the situation either. We wonder if they ever lived this down.

Lost and Found

Sleepwalking isn’t just for adults and teens either. Sometimes, even young children can scare their parents in their sleep. No one wants their child to walk away when they’re supposed to be asleep!

Lost and Found

This person shared a story of when they caused some chaos in their sleep when they were only five years old. They managed to wander out of their apartment and around the complex only to wake up two floors up. Luckily, an elderly couple helped them find their way back to their parents.

Goodnight, Mom

The interesting thing about sleepwalking is that it’s a habit that can come and go. This is because, in part, it can happen for a variety of reasons.

Goodnight, Mom

There are many people who sleepwalk when they’re young but don’t as an adult. This user shared one particular story from when they were a child. They got out of bed to wish their mom goodnight. It was sweet until they walked past her to give the TV a hug and a kiss before laying back down.

Caring for Contacts

If you wear contacts, you know that you have to take care of them. Otherwise, they might not work as well as you hoped or even hurt your eyes.

Caring for Contacts

This person probably shouldn’t have waited to care for their contacts until they were asleep. They took the contacts out while they were asleep and put them away – or, at least, tried to. What they actually did was set their contacts to soak in some toothpaste, not contact solution.

Where Am I?

Like we’ve said, sometimes the things people say or do in their sleep don’t make sense. They might say something they’d never say awake like this person’s friend, Robyn.

Where Am I?

When Robyn fell asleep, this friend and Robyn’s sister decided to watch a movie. They were rightfully surprised when Robyn came downstairs looking for somebody – herself! They tried to convince her that she was right there but she eventually just gave up and went to bed. The next day, she was none the wiser.

Robbed in Their Sleep

While walking or talking in your sleep can lead to some funny situations, it can also get pretty dangerous. It all depends on who you interact with while you’re asleep.

Robbed in Their Sleep

In this person’s case, they woke up one morning to find some of their belongings were gone. Wondering what happened, they questioned a neighbor who told them a harrowing story. While they were asleep, they’d let the thief in themselves! The neighbor explained that they thought she was a friend and didn’t intervene.

Get Her Some Snacks

Logical reasoning and activity in your sleep usually don’t mix. That means that people experience some truly bizarre lines of thinking.

Get Her Some Snacks

For this person, that meant getting ready to go out and shop for snacks while they were asleep. Why? Well, the dog asked for them, so of course, they had to oblige. We’re just glad that their wife caught them before they tried to actually drive to the store. At least we know that they’re a loving dog owner.

Make Room

A little organization is never a bad thing. Well, that is if you’re properly organizing something in a helpful manner. This wasn’t quite the case here.

Make Room

Yes, this person did completely rearrange their friend’s fridge in their sleep but they had good intentions. How else were they supposed to make something new fit? The only problem was that their friend’s 25-pound bag of dog food probably didn’t need its own shelf in the fridge. It’s the thought that counts.

Pretty Chilly

It’s bad enough to put yourself in an awkward position because you walk or talk in your sleep. It’s a whole other level to inconvenience everyone else around you in your sleep.

Pretty Chilly

That’s exactly what this person’s sleepwalking brother did, though. Without waking up for even a moment, he went to everyone’s room and gathered their blankets to wash them. It probably would have been a kind gesture during the day but in the middle of the night, everyone woke up grumpy and cold.

Worst Time to Wake Up

The backstory this person provided is confusing in and of itself. They explained that they used to leap down a small flight of stairs for fun during the day.

Worst Time to Wake Up

The good news is that they weren’t hurt in this practice. The problem was that they did it so often, they could do it in their sleep. In fact, one time, they did. To make matters even more frightening, they woke up once they were airborne.

Points for Trying

We’ve all been in this person’s position. You finish up your chores right before you go to bed but you’re too tired to complete the last step.

Points for Trying

There’s no shame in waiting until tomorrow either. Unfortunately for this person, they seemed particularly stressed about the concept of unfolded laundry. So much so that they didn’t wait until they woke up to fold their laundry. They just missed the mark by putting the folded clothes away in their fridge, not their dresser.

Finding the Guilty Party

There’s more than just doing things you don’t normally do in your sleep. Sometimes, you might even find yourself enjoying foods you hate when you’re awake.

Finding the Guilty Party

That’s what this person went through, anyways. When they started wondering why half-eaten apples were around the house, they thought it couldn’t be them. After all, they hate apples! However, one night recording later, it was proven that they actually love apples if they’re still asleep.

Harrowing Evidence

Oftentimes, you aren’t going to remember doing the things you do while you’re asleep. That’s because you’re asleep, after all. Someone else has to tell you what you were doing.

Harrowing Evidence

That’s why it can prove a pretty spooky experience when you see signs that you did something in the night when you live alone. This person woke up one morning to see that they had leaves on their feet and in their bed. Even worse, their clothes hadn’t been touched, leading to an embarrassing conclusion.

In a Shoe?

There are some things you do in your sleep without realizing where you are. That’s just the side effect of dreaming about being somewhere else while you wander around.

In a Shoe?

Unfortunately for their family, this user probably did the worst thing to be in the wrong place. The last place that someone should do something like this is in someone’s shoe. The fact that they don’t know how long it was before it was found is pretty disturbing to top off the situation.

A Rainy Wake-Up Call

There are plenty of stories of someone getting up, walking around, and getting back in bed before they wake up. Not everyone completes that last step, though.

A Rainy Wake-Up Call

Some people, like this user, have the unfortunate experience of waking up wherever they happened to stop sleepwalking. Once this person climbed out their window, they decided they were done walking around and curled up. At least the rain was enough to wake them so they could get back inside.

Getting Ready for Work

We’ve all had a stress dream from time to time. Maybe you’re dreaming about a busy day at work or trying to remember the combination for your high school locker.

Getting Ready for Work

For this person’s wife, she obviously was thinking about professional matters at night. Impressively, the user says that she didn’t sound asleep at all. If she’d actually been on the phone, she’d probably have made a lot of progress. Hopefully, she wasn’t upset over the fact that it was all a dream.

Save the Sewing Machine!

It makes sense that you might have a strong emotional response to something if you’re in the middle of a dream. This person had a few concerns.

Save the Sewing Machine!

Namely, they begged their mom to check on the sewing machine or, at the very least, make it stop. They were firmly under the belief that the sewing machine was getting sick behind a closed door. We wonder how this line of thinking came to be.

Looking for Friendships

We’ve all wandered out to the kitchen in the middle of the night, both awake and asleep. Who could say no to a little midnight snack?

Looking for Friendships

This Reddit user did just that but his goal wasn’t quite a snack. Instead, when they were found peering into the fridge, they confirmed that they wanted to find “friendships.” We aren’t sure whether this would be an adorable or unsettling scene but both they and their mother were confused by the incident.

Ready for a Bath

When you’re sleepwalking, it isn’t uncommon to complete some of the actions that you do daily. However, since you are asleep, you might not complete your task.

Ready for a Bath

This person’s story is an example of this concept. While they did undress like they were going to get in the bath, they never got further than a snooze sitting on the tub ledge. We also have to wonder why they felt the need to hide their clothes behind the toilet too.

Storing Your Clothes

This person was trying to complete a task, in theory. In practice, they managed to get just about every step of that task incorrectly.

Storing Your Clothes

Rather than storing clothes in a bin, this person opted to flush them down the toilet instead. Most people probably wouldn’t take the time to store the clothes they were wearing as well. From the parents’ calm reaction, we assume this wasn’t the only sleepwalking story from this user!

Nighttime Tea Party

We all have dreams of spending time with our friends. It’s not unexpected that they would be there. Still, it can lead to some rather touching sleepwalking incidents.

Nighttime Tea Party

For this person, they included their friends in their dreams at only four years old. The result was one night when they conducted an entire tea party for their stuffed animals without waking up once. Honestly, we’re pretty impressed if they didn’t get ginger ale everywhere!

No Soul and No Vegetables

Talking in your sleep can lead to some interesting results. For instance, many people speak in gibberish or string random words together.

No Soul and No Vegetables

Technically, we have to hand it to this user’s boyfriend for making a full sentence. Not to mention, the user said that he did all this in a completely serious, awake voice. The most confusing part is the message. Is the dust good? Should we get him some vegetables? He probably doesn’t have any answers either.

No One Noticed?

One of the scary things about sleepwalking is that you might venture a little too far in your sleep. You’d hope someone would notice you were asleep before then.

No One Noticed?

For this person’s dad, unfortunately, no one noticed. As a result, he was able to go out, get the whole family take out, and come back and enjoy dinner. No one even knew he was asleep until the next morning he asked why they waited until after he fell asleep to get take out.

What a Mess

There are some things that we do in our sleep that have real consequences. For instance, you can still cause quite a mess when you’re asleep and walking around.

What a Mess

This person probably did something that most of us would hope we never do. That is unless you really like blueberry yogurt. Since they didn’t wake up until afterward, allowing them to accidentally cover themselves in the yogurt. How much yogurt would that even take?

Helpful Habits

We’ve talked a lot about unfortunate things that people do in their sleep. Still, that doesn’t mean there aren’t times that people can accomplish a lot without waking up.

Helpful Habits

That’s what this lucky person experienced. While they were asleep one night, they went to work cleaning the whole house. Plus, they were resting the whole time – talk about multi-tasking! We’d probably feel like we had hired an invisible maid if we could pull off this feat.

Running Late

Like we’ve said before, everyone has a stressful dream from time to time. They might even be caused by a stressful day or an upcoming stressful event in your life.

Running Late

The dreams are usually fairly mundane too. For instance, this person was seemingly dreaming about catching a train or bus. They even acted it out, waking their father as they ran up and down the hall calling after their ride. We’re guessing they woke up kind of tired.

Don’t Try This at Home

It’s good to preface this one by saying we’re glad this user is okay. After all, their sleepwalking story involved some pretty dangerous decisions.

Don’t Try This at Home

While no one was there to tell them exactly what happened, it was easy to deduce what had happened. They woke up with the spray paint can still in hand, after all. Not to mention, the tongue painted black and the burning sensation they mentioned would probably alert them pretty quickly.

Why Are You Crying?

There are times that you or someone who caught you sleepwalking can see a small thread of logic in your actions. Other times, none of it makes much sense.

Why Are You Crying?

It’s confusing enough that this person’s brother felt the need to wander out to the garage and start playing with a frisbee like this. The more unsettling part is what this user described as his soft crying. If we saw someone doing this in their sleep, we’d be pretty concerned.

There Go the Family Savings

There’s a loophole to sleepwalking sometimes in that you can’t be blamed for what you’ve done. That’s how these parents approached it at least.

There Go the Family Savings

They had to work around a fairly unfortunate circumstance too. While this user was young and asleep, they somehow managed to throw the savings that their family had in the apartment out of the window. From the way this story is told, we have to wonder if they managed to recover any of it.

Don’t Text and Sleep

Technology has made it much easier to contact each other instantly, any time that we need to. In some situations, it might be just a little too easy.

Don’t Text and Sleep

While completely asleep, this person was stressed about a postponed meeting. Naturally, the solution was to contact the person they were trying to reach. Instead, they contacted everyone else. It’s probably for the best that this email didn’t reach the person that they were stressed about meeting with.

Just Another Day

There are times that the dreams you have are a little more about breaking the rules. Then, it’s not always great to pair those with sleepwalking.

Just Another Day

While it’s hilarious in retrospect, it probably startled their parents at the time. Not many people expect to see their child appear in the middle of the right to pour cereal all over the floor. Plus, then you have the result of a midnight cleaning session to make up for the event.

Form the Barricade!

There are some things that people do in their sleep that are pretty startling to anyone who catches them. This boyfriend seems to have mostly taken such an incident in stride.

Form the Barricade!

The user said they woke their boyfriend early in the morning when they were climbing over him. Why? To “form a barricade,” of course. Once they were done, they just climbed back into bed. We feel bad for this poor boyfriend who had to fix it all before going back to sleep himself.